Care, Concern and Worry

We all love our family and friends, we care for each other. But is it natural to worry about them, when something goes wrong? Does worrying means caring? Will the world accept me if I don't worry? Let us see...... From the teachings of BK Shivani.
 

IS CARING = CONCERN = WORRY ???

Do you worry about anything in life?
Yes, I do. Almost all of us do worry about our children, husband, parents, other family members and friends.

Is it? Why do you worry?

I care for my kids and family. So, when they are in some problem, it is natural to worry. If someone on the road meets with an accident, I will try to help and not worry, but if someone from my family meets with an accident, I will help and will worry too much because I love them. “Where there is love, there is worry”.



When do you worry?

I worry when
· Any of my closely related family members and friends is in trouble.

· Something bad has happened in the past.

· About the future because of some problems in the present or in the past.

Is it natural to worry about our loved ones?

Of course, yes. When I say “I love my family”, it means I care for them, I am concerned about them. So it is natural to worry about them.
Parents worry about their kids, grand-parents, work, finance, health, etc. 

Kids worry about their exams, friends, competitions, etc. 

Grand-parents worry about everyone and everything in life.

So do you feel it right to worry?
 

I do not know whether it is right or wrong, but it is natural. It happens to all. Certain feelings towards certain people come naturally, I don’t create it.

Let us talk only about YOU, not all, because when we say “all”, we feel it as right (since everyone does it). Let us focus only on what you feel and what you do. “What everyone thinks/ does, need not be right always.”
OK.

Does worrying help you in any way?
Hmmm…. NO, but it happens. I feel tired and drained out when I worry.

Exactly. This is what happens when we worry.

Let us see “What is worry?” 

Worry is an anxiety which we create mostly based on something fictional, which has not yet happened. It is a story that we create based on some past incident, it is an imagined virtual future that we create in our minds.
We say that I am worried, when I create thoughts like

· “Oh my child has not yet started speaking, what will happen if he continues like this? Other kids have started reciting rhymes; does my child have any problem.....?” 

· My husband does not speak normally to me nowadays. Is something wrong with him? Does he not like me? Is something wrong with me? Has he got any new friend whom he finds better than me or is he into any affair.....??

· “My daughter is 25 years old, she is too career oriented. She does not accept for marriage. How long can she remain a spinster? She has some minor health issues now, what if it increases later and no one accepts her? Will she remain all alone throughout her life? After my gone, who will take care of her......?

At times, children too worry like:

· I got low marks this time, I slept in class too, I think my teacher does not like me. She might be partial with me, she will not make me the leader of the class, she hates me, she may not give me a chance in cultural activities, I will be ignored, my friends also may not like me, I will be lonely, no one likes me….


People generally worry because they feel it right; they feel it is good to worry. In fact, if you don’t worry, there will be many people around you to say, “Look, she doesn’t care for her family at all, she does not worry even a little. Does she love her family? Is she concerned a bit at least?”

There is a very strong belief that “Worry is concern and it is good to worry. If you don’t worry, it means you don’t care”. That is why we often tell to each other, ”You know how much I am worried about you!!!!”, which means we are trying to convey that “I really care for you”. But is this belief true?????

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

                                                 To be Continued....